Night Meets The Morning Sun
by RazielOmega
Summary: (During and post 2.06 "Audrey Parker's Day Off") It makes her a little sad, that the only time she can really connect with anyone is after they're dead.
1. Take Four

A/N: So this episode absolutely _murdered_ me. And Audrey just looked so miserable by the end, I needed to give her some loving. Nathan loving. The amount of touching in this episode was orgasmic but the tension between these two almost killed me. So here's a quick fix =) Enjoy!

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><p>He's alive.<p>

Nathan's alive.

All she can do is stare at him, check his goddamn coffee and _stare_. He looks back at her for a minute, his face becoming more confused, and when he says "What?" she finds her arms latched tightly around him, not caring that coffee spills all over the floor. Nathan is _alive_.

"Hey, hey." He wraps his free arm around her gingerly and she just clutches him tighter, trying desperately not to cry. She hears him place his mug down and then his other arm is around her, and she doesn't think she'll ever be able to let him go.

"Audrey, what's wrong?" She can't suppress a sob, and he pulls back a little. She almost screams, refusing to let him go, needing to keep him here and safe. "Audrey." She realizes she must look horrible, which would explain the concern written all over Nathan's face. Well, that and the hug. She thinks she's hugged more people today than in her entire life.

It makes her a little sad, that the only time she can really connect with anyone is after they're dead.

"You're alive," she whispers, because she just can't think of anything else to say.

Nathan frowns. "Yeah I'm… fine. What's going on? You look like crap." She just wraps her arms back around his neck desperately and he gives in, seeming to realize he's not going to get anything out of her for the moment. He rubs her back as she clutches at him, and she struggles to calm down. The past few days (day?) are finally wearing her down, and seeing Nathan die… she's afraid for a moment it's sent her over the edge. But he's here, he's safe and alive, and she can feel his arms around her pulling her back together.

When she's feeling somewhat sane again, and less likely to break into hysterics, she pulls back a little, keeping her hands on his arms. He looks down at her, not speaking, just waiting for her to gather her thoughts.

She takes a few deep breaths, closes her eyes and whispers, "You died." Nathan doesn't burst into a million questions like she's sure he wants to, and she's eternally grateful. When she finally opens her eyes he's just watching her with a frown, and she takes his hand to drag him into her office and explain.

She's not going to let him die again.

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><p>Explaining is harder this time, and every time she feels her voice start to break she just looks at Nathan to ground her. When she's done and walking off to start her search for the driver, he catches her hand.<p>

"Are you okay?" He touches the bandage, but they both know it's not really what he's talking about. She can't meet his gaze, because she's afraid she'll just start crying again.

"I just want to fix this," she mumbles, and he squeezes her hand gently.

"We will, Audrey. Together."

She laughs, a hysterical edge to her voice. "That's what you said last time. Then you died." She turns away to start looking, feeling Nathan's eyes on her back, and wipes angrily at the tear that streaks down her cheek. She doesn't have time to fall apart, not if she's going to solve this.

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><p>Comments are love =)<p> 


	2. Take Five

Thanks for the reviews, they make my heart all squishy =D I've at least one more part planned after this chapter… maybe more, we'll see!

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><p>Watching your boyfriend fly across the road, slammed by a car that was supposed to hit you – not the best way to start a day. Or continue a day. Or whatever the hell this is.<p>

She calls Nathan on the way from the school to the station, talking so fast he has to interrupt her a few times to tell her to slow down, and by the time she gets there she's so worked up it's all she can do not to scream. Nathan trails behind her, trying to calm her down, but she only freaks out more because they've tried everything and she has no idea what else to do.

Then he grabs her arms, tells her it's going to be okay, and she feels some of her tension drain into him. He squeezes her shoulder as she leaves to find Anson, and she knows things must be really bad if they're touching this much.

And then Anson gets mowed over by that goddamned beige sedan, and she feels like a part of her dies with him. Nathan finds her crying over his body, rocking back and forth, and he pulls her away as the coroner comes over flanked by officers.

"It didn't reset," she chokes, and then he's holding her tightly against him, pressing her face into his shoulder, preventing her from seeing Anson's body. "He's dead, and it didn't reset."

"I know," Nathan murmurs, and for a moment she's flooded relief that it's Anson dead instead of Nathan. Which only makes her hate herself more. "It's over, Audrey. It's over. You fixed it."

She doesn't say anything, just lays limply against him as the days finally wash over her. How much could she be expected to handle? How many times could she watch her friends die?

She knows Nathan is worried, because here they are hugging again (even if he doesn't remember the first time), but she doesn't have the energy or willpower to pull away. Finally, he pulls back, keeping his hands on her shoulders to support her.

"Alright, Parker, let's get you out of here." She looks dully back toward the body, and Nathan shakes her a little. "Don't."

She looks up at him, not even trying to hide her despair. "I need to make a statement…"

"Later," he murmurs. "It can wait, Audrey. Right now I'm taking you home." She takes a shaky breath and he squeezes her shoulder gently, reassuringly. "You've done more than enough on this case, let me take care of the rest." She nods slowly. "Okay, I'm gonna drop you off then finish this up."

A wave of panic runs through her, so strong she can't breathe, and when she hisses _"No_," Nathan looks at her in surprise.

"You're not leaving my sight," she whispers, not willing to risk anything else on this crappy, crappy day. For all she knows Nathan and Duke and Chris might all suddenly become dead again, and the thought of that is far too much to bear.

"Audrey-"

"I _saw you die_." She cuts him off, unwilling and unable to imagine life without Nathan, and not trusting anyone else to make sure he stays safe. Not that she'd done a fantastic job, but if something ever happened to him while she was somewhere else, always wondering… she couldn't live with that.

He looks at her for a long moment, hands still on her shoulders, an unreadable expression on his face. Finally he just asks, "What if I have to pee?" She laughs, a hysterical edge to her tone, and he rubs her shoulders gently with his thumbs.

"I guess bathroom breaks can be arranged," she mumbles. He sighs softly, and she can almost hear the wheels spinning in his brain as he thinks. She knows she's being ridiculous, but an image of Nathan on the ground with a spike sticking out of his stomach flashes in her mind and she really doesn't care.

After a minute or two, he motions another officer over. "Stan, can you guys handle this without me?" Stan glances at Audrey, and the expression of pity on his face is disconcerting. She must really look awful.

"Sure thing, Chief. This guy drove across half of town like a maniac, I don't think he'll be too hard to find." Nathan nods.

"Okay, thanks." Stan looks at Audrey once more, then nods and walks away.

Nathan turns back to Audrey, and she meets his eyes hesitantly. "I look like crap, don't I?" Nathan smiles a little.

"Is this one of those trick questions girls ask where no matter what answer you give you end up getting slapped?" Audrey makes a face and punches him lightly in the arm. Nathan raises his eyebrows and deadpans, "Guess so." He studies her for another moment, then continues gently, "You look like you haven't slept in five days."

She bites her lip, nods tightly. "Right." He watches her for another long minute, and she has to resist the urge to touch him. Make sure he's really here.

"Let's get you home," he says again, and she just nods and trails behind him because she has no idea what else to do.

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><p>More on the way, comments are love! =)<p> 


	3. Beyond the Reset

An update, in honor of Haven day =D Happy watching tonight!

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><p>She failed.<p>

Her only job, her only responsibility, the only reason she exists at all and she failed.

She doesn't know how they can stand to look at her, let alone talk to her. Be near her. Someone is dead because of her, all of her friends died because of her. The thought of life without them makes her breath catch in her throat, and she realizes she must have made a sound because Nathan appears in front of her where she leans against the wall, concern written all over his face.

"Audrey." His voice is soft, kind, a tone he uses only for her. She feels tears spill down her cheeks because she _doesn't deserve it_ and then his hand is on her shoulder, radiating warmth through her chilled body. "You're exhausted," he continues gently, and she gives a little laugh that ends up sounding more like a sob. And then he has his arms around her and she's hugging him for the third time that day, crying desperately into his shoulder, because he's safe and alive and she needs him too much to do anything else.

As he runs his hand along her back she tries to calm down, but she's so _tired_ and the constant adrenaline from five days has worn her down beyond comprehension. She feels her legs give out, feels Nathan's arms tighten as he eases her down, murmuring. "Hey, Audrey, easy. Easy." He keeps her close, cradles her to his chest, and all she can do is cry.

She hates crying.

"I saw him," she chokes, as Nathan's fingers find their way into her hair. "I saw Anson die. I saw Chris die. I saw the car…" Nathan's arms tighten almost painfully, but she welcomes the feeling.

"I know," he murmurs, still rubbing her back soothingly. "I can't imagine what you went through today, Audrey. But you saved us. Me, Duke, Brody. All of Haven, the whole world for all I know." He keeps saying that, that she saved the world, that she's some kind of hero. She doesn't understand how he can possibly think that after today. All she can do is shake her head.

She hears Duke and Chris walk outside, hears her boyfriend say "Oh my god, Audrey!" Feels his hand on her shoulder, trying to pull her back, saying, "Audrey, come here."

But she wraps her arms around Nathan's neck desperately, because he's the only thing in the world that can ever ground her. "No," she whispers, and Chris's hand stills. Nathan tightens his arms protectively, and she figures she should probably be embarrassed but she's just too tired.

Chris sounds hurt, confused. "What-"

"Back off." Nathan's voice is quiet and deadly, and Chris removes his hand like she's a hot coal. Nathan takes a breath to say more but she shivers violently, suddenly freezing, and his attention is all on her again.

"We need to get you inside," he tells her softly. "I think you're going into shock." That might explain some things, like why it's so goddamned cold and why she can't focus on anything through the haze settling over her brain. But she's also just plain exhausted.

"'m so tired," she mumbles into his shoulder, and he cups her head gently.

"I know you are." She's never heard him sound so kind, so caring, and it just makes the tears flow faster. "That's why it's bedtime for you." She tries to make a joke involving the men of Haven and her pants, but her brain just won't function properly and the words won't come. Nathan lifts her up and she keeps her arms latched around his neck, terrified that if she lets go he'll just disappear.

She hears Duke open her door, feels a blast of heat as Nathan brings her inside. He places her carefully on the bed, tugging the blankets up over her and trying to warm her up. She's shivering uncontrollably, and finds another blanket to heap over her.

"Th-thank you," she stutters, and he sits on the edge of her bed with a small smile.

"Any time, Parker." He tucks her in a little tighter, and she can't stop the whimper that tears its way from her throat.

"N-Nathan?"

She has no idea what to make of the look on his face. "Right here," he murmurs, and she feels tears prick her eyes when he smoothes her hair back gently.

"Don't go anywhere, okay?" He sits frozen for a moment, and then he just runs his fingers through her hair again.

"Okay." He sighs, and she can hear his concern. She hates making him worry, but she's just way too damn tired to pull herself together. "Get some sleep, Audrey. I'll be here."

"Promise?"

He smiles amusedly. "Promise." He stands up, and the loss of his warmth is almost too much to bear. As she shivers violently she wonders absently if she'll ever be warm again, if she'll ever be able to fully trust that tomorrow morning will come and Nathan will still be alive and well. The thought of sleeping, of risking losing all of this… it makes her want to tape her eyes open and drink all the coffee at the Gull. She doesn't think she'll ever be able to sleep again.

"Nathan?" She sounds like a scared little kid, and she hates it.

He gets that resigned look only she can bring out, when she starts asking too many questions and begins to annoy the general population. He told her once she looks like a kid in a candy store when she really gets going, like her brain is firing too rapidly for the rest of the world to handle, and way too fast for her to filter. He's tolerated her enthusiasm from the moment she'd tried to find the loophole in his condition, matching her zeal with stoic sarcasm, and she wonders if he has any idea how much it means to her that he puts up with it. That she can just be herself around him, and he stays. Hell, he even seems to like her for it.

"Still here, Audrey," he murmurs, and she's amazed all over again at his ability to know exactly what she needs. He never lets her wallow in self-pity, but somehow knows when she really just needs compassion, a kind word, a friend.

She can't lose that. She just can't. Finding someone to have sex with – she can't lie to herself, it wasn't nearly as difficult as finding a friend like Nathan. Hell, she'd hooked up with Chris after knowing him for less than a week, but it'd taken her a lifetime to find what she and Nathan have.

She _won't_ lose that.

"What if I wake up and you're gone?" she mumbles, finally letting her fear fully sneak into her voice. Her absolute, utter terror at being left alone. He sits back down slowly, placing a gentle hand on her arm.

"That's not gonna happen," he tells her firmly, and he sounds so certain she can almost believe him. But there's still that nagging doubt, that fear that if she blinks and lets this world go she'll wake up in one with no Nathan, no Duke, no Chris. Or maybe she just won't wake up at all.

"You keep saying that," she whispers. "But what if once I go to sleep all of this resets or all the days blend together and you and Duke and Chris are all dead and-"

"Stop it." His hand is on her cheek, eyes boring into hers, and for a moment they're so intense she can't breathe. He stares at her for a long minute, and she can see a thousand thoughts running through his brain that he doesn't say. Finally, he relaxes his grip and his gaze softens, and he just murmurs, "Audrey, did anyone ever tell you you think too much?"

She giggles, a small grin forming on her face for the first time that day, and she closes her eyes as Nathan's thumb strokes her cheek absently. "Someone might've mentioned it once or twice," she mumbles, and she opens her eyes to see him smiling softly down at her.

His voice is still gentle, a tone she almost doesn't recognize. "We're fine, Audrey. I know today was horrible, I know you don't want to hear this, but you saved us. It's over, and we're alive, and that's not gonna change." She bites her lip, trying desperately to believe him. "You understand me? I'm not going anywhere, Audrey, I'm here with you through all of this. You can't get rid of me, no matter how hard you try."

She tries to laugh, tries to make some sort of joke, but it's like all the life has been sucked out of her. She just can't. Nathan seems to realize it at the same moment she does, and his expression softens.

"Audrey, I don't know what else to tell you." He sounds… lost, almost desperate. It's unnerving. "How can I convince you I'm here to stay?"

She reaches up slowly to grip his hand tightly in hers. "Just… just _stay_." Realization dawns on his face, followed by trepidation. She knows this isn't his strongpoint, and hell, it's certainly not hers. And her semi-boyfriend is downstairs, but she finds that she really just doesn't care. She needs Nathan, needs his comforting presence, his touch reminding her that they're both alive and safe and _here_.

But as he lays down beside her and pulls her against his chest, it's not awkward or uncomfortable; it's the most natural, perfect thing in the world. He tugs the blankets over them, creating a cocoon of warmth, and she can't help whimpering. As he places a gentle kiss to her forehead she marvels at the warmth that spreads through her, can't help feeling awed that even fully clothed and entirely platonic Nathan can make her feel more safe and cared for than any man she's ever slept with. With that thought she buries her face into his shoulder, pressing herself as close against him as possible, and she finally lets herself fall into sleep to the rise and fall of his chest as he holds her protectively against him.

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><p>AN: There may or may not be more, this was kind of my mental stopping point but it also doesn't quite feel done. Anyway, reviews make me happy =D


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